Friday, January 30, 2009

may i stay or away?


For the past 2 years i was dating a loser.

The First 6 months were heaven! after that things slowly deteriorated, in the 2nd year i knew i had to get out of this relationship.

I lost touch with my family and friends one by one who decided they hated him. He continually cut me down, got fired from all of his jobs. drugs and drinking. loser friends who all cheat on their wives/girlfriends. His car broke down. i was his cheauffer. how did it get so bad? :(

I really love him but want a bright future for myself. We broke up and made up COUNTLESS times but i need to stay strong and stay away.

I left him last week and i keep having dreams about going back to him.

Its SO HARD to adjust to being single. How can i get past this???


all i have to say to this is, well a lot

love is harsh and even though you think your in love with someone like that, your not... a realationship is defined as "two people who love each other dearly" at least thats my definition if he really loved you, then he wouldnt have been extreamly abusive like that, and he wouldnt have hurt himself like that me, im only 19, but ive had no going out to date realathionships yet and never did till recently, never even had a first kiss, but that doesnt matter to me im looking for an emotional realationship, someone that i can open up to, and if they cant do the same, then thats not what im looking for

signs of a bad realationship




self abuse

no opening up


name calling


and anything else you can consider on his end

Signs of a bad realthionship on your end

Attatchment even though he has repeadityly abused you

even if he cheats 1nc and does it again, and you take him back more than once, your fault

no communication

no trust

no faith



yourself cheating on him

sorry but i have to say this, any person i thier right mind if they truely loved you, would not cheat on you in the first place, they would trust you, love, you make you feel like being yourself, comfort you when your down, never call you names, always open up fully, and communicate to the best of their ability

first signs to break it off

The first cheat within 2 years

Suspecs you of cheating on him when your not

Controlling, not letting you go out with friends on your own time

Calling every five minutes like a little boy who lost thier toy and wont let it go

constant name calling

apoligizing but yet does the same thing over and over

me again i dont really know because im still searching and waiting, i generally do care about people enough to hit them with a blunt reality to try to make them realize how bad it is or isnt, and im very open, and i dont treat other people like crap, if its none of my buisness ill stay out of it unless that person is CALLING for help, im not violent and pretty much im an all around nice guy, but the reality of the fact is

you need to grow up and realize that he wasnt right for you in the first place, im sorry its harsh but its cold hard fact i saw my mother go through abuse like that for 18 years, and she finnally just realized it too late, its better to catch something like that in the first 1-2 months than it is in the later 1-2 years for the fact that the longer you spend with them, the longer you delude yourself to believing "i love him" and its not that you love him, its that you care for him enough to give him another chance, but hony there are only so many you can give before you have to realize that, he's never going to change, thus i say stuff like

If they cheat once, theyll do it again

If they call you names, they wont stop

If they arnt open, try to make them open up and if they dont, dont bother, because it will never be good

if they are controlling, have fun trying to have a life

if they dont trust you, have fun with that one

if they are all around abusive, immature, or desperate, dont even go for that or else you will regret it and if you have read this and you do it anyways, no harm intended but told ya so, most guys are horn dogs and its really hard to find a nice guy

Ways to get over something like this after youve been with him for a while

None, youll never get over it, youll slightly cheer up but youll always remember it because it was a huge chunk of your life. just be happy it didnt take marriage 18 years and an attempt to kill your children for you to realize how bad it really was.

PS: I do feel for you because ive only been hurt once, and it felt pretty bad im in love with this girl that ive known for my whole life, and she knows it, but she doesnt want to take the chance to get to know me more, and i see her dating a new guy every two to three months, granted she is 17 but i figure either she'll come around, or she will just continue till its too late, and in that case ill still be there for her and my feelings will never change but hey id rather stay alone the rest of my life, making sure she is ok, then just leaving her alone, to be hurt badly by several bad realationships.

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