Friday, January 30, 2009

may i stay or away?


For the past 2 years i was dating a loser.

The First 6 months were heaven! after that things slowly deteriorated, in the 2nd year i knew i had to get out of this relationship.

I lost touch with my family and friends one by one who decided they hated him. He continually cut me down, got fired from all of his jobs. drugs and drinking. loser friends who all cheat on their wives/girlfriends. His car broke down. i was his cheauffer. how did it get so bad? :(

I really love him but want a bright future for myself. We broke up and made up COUNTLESS times but i need to stay strong and stay away.

I left him last week and i keep having dreams about going back to him.

Its SO HARD to adjust to being single. How can i get past this???


all i have to say to this is, well a lot

love is harsh and even though you think your in love with someone like that, your not... a realationship is defined as "two people who love each other dearly" at least thats my definition if he really loved you, then he wouldnt have been extreamly abusive like that, and he wouldnt have hurt himself like that me, im only 19, but ive had no going out to date realathionships yet and never did till recently, never even had a first kiss, but that doesnt matter to me im looking for an emotional realationship, someone that i can open up to, and if they cant do the same, then thats not what im looking for

signs of a bad realationship




self abuse

no opening up


name calling


and anything else you can consider on his end

Signs of a bad realthionship on your end

Attatchment even though he has repeadityly abused you

even if he cheats 1nc and does it again, and you take him back more than once, your fault

no communication

no trust

no faith



yourself cheating on him

sorry but i have to say this, any person i thier right mind if they truely loved you, would not cheat on you in the first place, they would trust you, love, you make you feel like being yourself, comfort you when your down, never call you names, always open up fully, and communicate to the best of their ability

first signs to break it off

The first cheat within 2 years

Suspecs you of cheating on him when your not

Controlling, not letting you go out with friends on your own time

Calling every five minutes like a little boy who lost thier toy and wont let it go

constant name calling

apoligizing but yet does the same thing over and over

me again i dont really know because im still searching and waiting, i generally do care about people enough to hit them with a blunt reality to try to make them realize how bad it is or isnt, and im very open, and i dont treat other people like crap, if its none of my buisness ill stay out of it unless that person is CALLING for help, im not violent and pretty much im an all around nice guy, but the reality of the fact is

you need to grow up and realize that he wasnt right for you in the first place, im sorry its harsh but its cold hard fact i saw my mother go through abuse like that for 18 years, and she finnally just realized it too late, its better to catch something like that in the first 1-2 months than it is in the later 1-2 years for the fact that the longer you spend with them, the longer you delude yourself to believing "i love him" and its not that you love him, its that you care for him enough to give him another chance, but hony there are only so many you can give before you have to realize that, he's never going to change, thus i say stuff like

If they cheat once, theyll do it again

If they call you names, they wont stop

If they arnt open, try to make them open up and if they dont, dont bother, because it will never be good

if they are controlling, have fun trying to have a life

if they dont trust you, have fun with that one

if they are all around abusive, immature, or desperate, dont even go for that or else you will regret it and if you have read this and you do it anyways, no harm intended but told ya so, most guys are horn dogs and its really hard to find a nice guy

Ways to get over something like this after youve been with him for a while

None, youll never get over it, youll slightly cheer up but youll always remember it because it was a huge chunk of your life. just be happy it didnt take marriage 18 years and an attempt to kill your children for you to realize how bad it really was.

PS: I do feel for you because ive only been hurt once, and it felt pretty bad im in love with this girl that ive known for my whole life, and she knows it, but she doesnt want to take the chance to get to know me more, and i see her dating a new guy every two to three months, granted she is 17 but i figure either she'll come around, or she will just continue till its too late, and in that case ill still be there for her and my feelings will never change but hey id rather stay alone the rest of my life, making sure she is ok, then just leaving her alone, to be hurt badly by several bad realationships.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

meet fasya

meet fasya
sayang i rasa bersalah sangat sekarang nieh
sangat2 kowt
hanya kite berdua yang tahu
hahaha, shhhhhh

tempat pertama kali berjumpa
burger king lage
gara-gara faqeem nie ha
lapar la
nak breakfes kat stu
mule2 malu tpi i yang pling bnyak ckp
talk2 like chicken

bersantai kat foodcourt
orang ramai mcm sardin
ahhh, peduli apa asalkan dapat duduk
then duduk2 datang la kawn c faqeem
nak buat ape orang kate alahai tick2 segala

inkheart weyh
dorang nie beli tiket ta bgetahu i
tawu2 je fasya suro masuk wayang
seat depan2
sakit kepala i weyh
cite tuh sangat laa suspen
sampai i nie da terkejut segala
korang gelakkan ea.
siap korang;)

habis movie
drama penipuan berlaku
i nak berduaan ngun fasya
then kiteorg g makan berdua
oiceyh, time tuh la melantak segala

the end;)

meet the syrl

meet syahril for the first time
nervous sangat
tpi ape nak bwat
teroskan apa yang da ada kat depan
then meet la dia 
omg, omggg. handsome la dia

fall in love
tgok wayang
romantic sangat

ta biasa nak pegang tangan i 
i tarik je tangan dia.
ta lepas weyh

pegy avenue k
then jalan-jlan
sayang nye i kat u
i lapar jum makan
then pegy brger king.

but sygg
kiteorg ta declare pown
sedeyh kann.
tpi nak bwat cmne
ade jodoh ade la
ta da 
juz redha je

dia mintak i wait
its not a rejection
but give time to him to think about that

but, i da tahu da
i was rejected;(

Monday, January 26, 2009

perjalanan yang sangat panjang

fuhh, totally leteyh la rite now. act i mmg tired gila babi. uh. thanxs maksu and kak paie. coz teman i pegy shoppin tadi.. guyss cari tudung kat jalan tar, wahhh semua orang pandang pelik je kan kat kite, coz tahlaa mcm mak datin cari tudung kan. hahahahaha penat weyhh, da la panas gila. uhh, nthewn masuk sogo, cari baju, ahhh clearance amek kaw baju pdi satu i amek. cewahhhh, murahh bbe. thenn abes kat stuh je da bpe jamm, sampaikan nak saving duet share food ngun kak paie taw, hahahaha, gilaa siottt. save, save nnti nak date plak ngun org tersayang. hahahaha.. then kiteorang g bb plak, hahahaha, maksu drive as usual. hahaha sesampai pavy i call my syahril, ingatkan nak jumpe, tapi segan coz i dress like mak ayam sygg, sooryy taw.. then, tujuan nak pegy roxy. then close plak..ahhhh, gerammm..n kiteorang g usha2 kat espirit hahahaa.. usha beg tuh auwww. nak2 sygg, tpi tahlaa no money just shut up syg, heee 
masuk topshop usha bag plakk, mak aihh mahal gilaa weyhh, saving money pown ta cukup nak beli niehhh, geram bbe,  uhhhh .. bile la nak dapt neih.. tlgg laaaa. 

topshop handbag
jalan pnye jalan, i g singgah nose. then beli laa barang skit, hahaha kasut fer sure. wow merah bbe... hahaha, i main beli jee,coz asek pakai flip je kan. hahahaha. anyway da abes duet kat stu 50 bucks, then gerak plak forever21 hahahaa, gile kan i niehh, amek a baju f12, naseb bek la murahh, tapi cam gemok laa , makin gemok lage ade laa. hahahhahaa;)

tired face

close ur eyess, my bodyyy omggg gemok

Sunday, January 25, 2009

cupcakes make me crazie

omgg, omgg, cupcakes..
firstly and foremost, i mmg suke sangat cupcakes, comel cute everythin laa, hahahaha.
and the best thing si dia pown suka jugak cupcakes, hahahaha, tpi nak ultraman jee, hahaha, cam bdak2 muke u pown da mcm ultraman da( opps, sorryy kang ta pasal2 kena mara ngun dye)
i nie suke berangan, berangan sumone special bge cupcakes kat i , uhhh, romanticc. meleleh airliur i nieh hhaaaaaa. berangan je tawu i nieh . hahahahah
syahril, i want this roxy bag, can u bought for me please sayang???


ninewest handbag

dkny watch

lv handbag
aigner handbag

ehem, ehem, do you want to know something.
i ask my mom about this things.

mya; mak, ohh mak, bile laa nak dapat semua nie?
mak: ta payh la nak berangan, keje pown ta da lage,
da berangan nak plak

hahaha, kelaka laaa. nmpak sangat aku nie materialistik kan, nak brang branded je hahahaa

baby 20

Crazy Cakes

Situation 1; IN MY ROOM grrr, geram aku, geram sangat, asal kawan2 aku semua,cam ignore je birthday aku , padahal aku siap bwat annoucement lage, almost of them masing buat muke je, ahhh, cam nak kena penyepak, sampaikan aku shoutout sorang2 kat dalam bilik taw, sampaikan malam tuh i was cryin and mengadu kat syahril( ehem, ehem) , dye pown suro aku sabar je, thanxs sygg.. y must dorang bwat kat aku cmnie, tyme dorang happy2 je clebrate birthday segala, y time ak cm ape tahhh.

Situation 2: IN CLASS thenn, besok pown aku bwat ta tawu je la kann, classmate aku yang ta bpe close pown bole wishh taw, dorang bwat bodo, aku lage bodoo2 kann je,hahahahaa;) geram weyhh. then petang tuh afta abes class.

Situation 2; IN MY ROOMY oppsss, sengal.. tepat kol 6 petang on 13 jnuary dorang buat suprise plak kat aku.. menjerit taw aku, sampai nges2 pelok dorang taw, dorang siap bge present lage, ak kate ta payh laa, da besa da... malu je, nges pelok2 ahh, ade video tyme tuh , tpi segan laa nk bge korang tengok, coz aku pakai short kann, dahlaa peha besar . segan plak . hahahahaa..everybody semua nanges tgok aku nanges jugak, weyhh, aku sayang korang weyhh, even aku ade terngumpat , or terngadah ke ,minta ampun bnyak2 korang mmg kawn yangg beshh, havoc bilik aku afta mkan kek, photoshoot plakkk, abesh katil aku mentang2 lawa dok post2 ramai kat stuhh.hahahaha

kawankuh yangg menyoi
ps; bear-bear pown nak sebok jugak kann2

jue, mira and mya
korang, mmg nak kena sekeh ngun aku

welcome 2009; tudung belit

salam muhibah semua ;

first day masuk uitm.

friends 1: eyhh, mya aku ta perasan la kaw ,wahh da cantik skrangg, tuka image

second day classes

friends 2: wow, perubahan yang melampau, ceyhhh. mcm mak datin la kaw!!

third day joging day

friends 3: ouchh, mya da berubahh laa..nice look ha. hampir ta kenal ak sape mya.

ewahhh, cmnie laa. ak bukan berubah nak pakai tudung segala, tapi kan juz berubah, dari segi pemakaian tudung tuh jew, da wayyy ea .. hahaha, insyaalh sampai seru aku pakai la kann, tol ta guyss. hehehehe;) btw, ilham nak pkai tudung belit3 nie dari org negro kat uia tuh, nmpak dorang pakai lawa2 jee so ak pown ikowt laa, bila ak start pakai kat sana, semua orang nak tiru segala, wahhh, its suckk, sampaikan ada kawan ak nie haa, nak suro kirim belikan tudung untuk dia, ingat ak nie tauke tudung belit2 kew, hahahahaha...